How to Avoid Burnout

Avoiding burnout isn’t about getting three square meals or eight hours of sleep. It’s not even necessarily about getting time at home. I have a theory that burnout is about resentment. And you beat it by knowing what it is you’re giving up that makes you resentful. I tell people: Find your rhythm. Your rhythm is what matters to you so much that when you miss it you’re resentful of your work.

I had a young guy, just out of college, and I saw some early burnout signs. I said, “Think about it and tell me what your rhythm is.” He came back and said, “Tuesday night dinners. My friends from college, we all get together every Tuesday night and do a potluck. If I miss it, the whole rest of the week I’m like, ‘I’m just not going to stay late tonight. I didn’t even get to do my Tuesday night dinner.’ ” So now we know that Nathan can never miss Tuesday night dinner again. It’s just that simple. You’re going to be so much more productive the rest of the week if you get that.
Katie is a soccer mom. She was running Google Finance and her team was in Bangalore, India, and she kept doing conference calls at one in the morning. I was really worried about her hours, and she said, “Don’t worry about the 1 a.m. calls to Bangalore. I love my team. It doesn’t bother me a bit. What bothers me is missing soccer games or having my child see me walk in late to the recital.” From then on we’d be in meetings and Katie would get up to leave, and people would say, “Oh, Katie, can’t you just stay five more minutes? We’re so close.” And I’d say, “No, Katie has got to go.”
So find your rhythm, understand what makes you resentful, and protect it.
You can’t have everything you want, but you can have the things that really matter to you. And thinking that way empowers you to work really hard for a really long period of time.

Watch Marissa Mayer explain how to avoid burnout at www.businessweek.com/howto/burnout

My job and my research has given me the privilege to talk to so many people, of different economic backgrounds, about money.  What has been surprising is that money issues keep a lot of people up at night- even people who earn very big paychecks.  The good news is that with a little work you can make bedtime- a time of rest- not anxiety. Here are my top 5 moves to make when money keeps you up at night.

1) Diagnose the problem in daylight.  Instead of trying to tackle your money woes in the middle of the night, promise yourself you will take on the problem solving by the light of day.  Get up early or skip that lunch and put pen to paper to figure out what the problem really is. “Not having enough money” a common worry, is often not the real problem it is only a symptom. The real problem is often more about employment issues or how we handle the money we already have. Many parents have told me they worry about whether they will be able to support their children, be able to put them through college etc. When you get to the issue, dig deeper ask yourself why you are worried about it. Why am I under-employed? Is it me or is it the industry I am in? By digging deep objectively (no self pity or excessive blame here- be clinical) you can get to the heart of the problem and begin the treatment to better financial health and a better night’s sleep!

2) Create a goal.  After you have diagnosed the problem, you know where you are now. Your goal now is answering the question, “where do you want to be?”  Write it down. I am also a fan of posting it everywhere- bathroom mirror, fridge, front door, etc.

3) Take stock of  your resources. What you do have already? Take stock of your skills, stuff, friends and your network. These are all resources you can leverage for help.  So often we dwell on what we don’t have, this list will remind you of all you do have.

4) Make a realistic plan to change your situation.  You’ve set the goal, know what  tools you have in your arsenal, now it is time for you to create the roadmap for change.  As you work on the plan you think about the different ways you can achieve your goal by using your resources or perhaps acquiring some new ones.  Weigh the pros and cons of each step, does it make sense to downsize, can you partner with someone, etc.  I like to put everything on the table for discussion.  Once you set your goal and you know what truly matters to you, old sacred cows are often easily sacrificed to make way for our new goals.  Keeping your goal in mind makes prioritizing easier.

(Hint- don’t allow for too many non-negotiables here- the more ideas you allow for discussion the better).

5) Create buy-in.  Ideally this whole process involves you and other financial decisions makers in your household. I also believe in bringing in the kids into the discussion at appropriate times- after all they will be affected by your decisions.  Involving everyone in the discussion will allow for easier buy in for the plan and allow all of you to be on the same page when it comes time to execute the plan.

Remember friends and others are usually willing to help our cause when they see we are committed to a plan wholeheartedly.

Good luck! -Mary Caraccioli

Stedman Graham does not do a lot of interviews. That is why I was so pleased when he decided to spend a few minutes with me. He is the kind of person you hope to sit next to at a luncheon because you know you will enjoy the company and learn something in the process, Enjoy!

By SAMANTHA BOMKAMP/ AP Airlines Writer

NEW YORK (AP) – A rogue JetBlue flight attendant’s explanation

that an uncooperative passenger caused him to melt down and slide

down a parked plane’s emergency chute may not hold water, the

airline says in an internal memo.

And even if it’s true, a bad day at work is no excuse for flight

attendant Steven Slater’s behavior, JetBlue says in the memo

obtained Friday by The Associated Press.

Slater went onto the public address system Monday on a plane at

New York’s Kennedy Airport after a JetBlue flight from Pittsburgh,

cursed out a passenger he said had treated him rudely, and then

slid off the plane.

He was arrested, charged with criminal mischief, reckless

endangerment and trespassing, and released on bail. Slater’s

attorney says a passenger’s “lack of civility” prompted his

behavior.

JetBlue Chief Operating Officer Rob Maruster says in the memo

that the airline is still investigating, but that no one has yet

corroborated Slater’s version of events. In fact, JetBlue notes,

several passengers “have given interviews that tell a different

story.”

“If Mr. Slater’s story proves to be accurate, and even if there

was a precipitating event that motivated his behavior, that still

doesn’t excuse his actions,” Maruster wrote.

Slater has been hailed as a working-class hero on social

networking sites for the ultimate take-this-job-and-shove-it

moment.

The airline said “the most distressing aspect” of news

coverage is that the danger of deploying an emergency slide hasn’t

been taken seriously enough.

“Slides deploy extremely quickly, with enough force to kill a

person,” the letter to employees read. “Slides can be as

dangerous as a gun.”

Maruster added that the “episode does not reflect the

professional and sincere service you deliver to our customers every

day.”

(Copyright 2010 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

The Sugar Bowl

  Did you ever reach for the sugar bowl only to find it empty?    This morning I reached for mine and there in the very bottom was a few sugar crystals, just enough for my coffee. When I was a little girl during World War 2, sugar was very scarce, in fact even with our war ration stamps, it could be a couple of months before sugar might be available at the store. Most of the sugar came from the islands and transport across the Atlantic was very dangerous.   And so we rarely ever had the priceless sugar that my Mum liked for her tea.

  I was reminded this morning of that when I found those few crystals, I recall being about nine years old, getting up after my mother went to bed so I could surprise her in the morning with the table set.  As young as I was something prompted me to climb up on the counter to reach a cupboard that was high up, for a little girl.  Opening the cupboard there wasn’t anything unusual, a few cups and saucers but that wasn’t good enough for me, I searched to the far end of the cupboard and there is was, A SUGAR BOWL. 

   I held it in my hand and when I lifted the cover I saw it, the rare and priceless sugar.  To express the joy I felt just can’t be properly put into words; happiness filled my young heart. Excitement surged through me as I put the sugar bowl on the table at my mothers place.  Happily I tiptoed back to bed, barely able to get to sleep as I didn’t want to miss my mothers Surprise when she sat down for that very early morning breakfast cup of tea.  Mum was thrilled and said it was the best cup of tea she had tasted in months.  Saccharin tablets just didn’t replace sugar.

  I’m grateful my usually filled to the brim Sugar Bowl was near empty this morning or all those endearing memories of a time long ago might not have flooded over me. – D. Daigle 2010

One of the great things about my job is that each day I get to dip my toe into a new world. With every story I cover, I meet new and often interesting people and for just a few hours, I get to live in their world. This week I spent time with author and blogster Kristen Hagopian. She wrote the book Brilliant Frugal Living. She is a whirlwind. Funny and non-stop with the snappy dialogue. But Kristen’s genius is living frugally. She gave up her $50K job when she had kids, after she and her husband decided to make one paycheck work. Instead of sulking about what she had to give up, Kristen is joyful about each dollar she saves.

The day I spent with her she took me to her secret weapon grocery store, BB’s in Morgantown, PA. BB’s sells overstock and damaged products from the big grocers. It was a delight finding high quality organic and other top quality products for literally next to nothing. But it was even more fun watching Kristen come to life as we stumbled upon organic dark chocolate bars, usually 3 or 4 dollars a piece for 25-cents. She momentarily forgot about our shoot and grabbed the stack. This catch wasn’t going to anyone else.

The same day she snagged a $70 Little Tykes desk for her daughter for $20, thanks to craigslist. The beauty of Kristen’s lifestyle is not just consuming cheaply, it is about using what you have and thinking things through before you spend money. Those things ultimately reduce the quantity and increase the quality, of what she and her family consume. Keep your eye on LiveWellHD.com to fin out when my stories with Kristen will air. In the meantime check out her blog at HTTP://BRILLIANTFRUGALLIVING.WORDPRESS.COM/

I love Dr. Ellen Marmur’s book Simple Skin Beauty. It is my skin care bible. You don’t have to spend a fortune to look your best. When you understand how things work with your skin you will make smarter purchases. Ellen is a skin cancer survivor herself, so she really gets it. You will also meet the brainy and beautiful ladies of Profaces. They make the stuff we put on our faces.

Every once in a while you hear some advice you want to share. Cathie Black is a lady you should know about. She is president of Hearst Magazines and recently delivered a keynote address at the Wharton Women Business Conference. She talked about everything from being a working mom, ladies who hold a grudge, to giving up your power in meetings.
Here is an excerpt from the Knowledge at Wharton article about Cathie:
(Cathie Black) cautioned young women to think more than five years ahead as they make important career and personal decisions, even if they seem to be on track. She reminded the Wharton audience that one in two marriages ends in divorce. “Think about when you are 45, if all those perfect things don’t work out.”
Black, who is married, said she never stopped working as she raised her two children, now 18 and 22. When her children were young, for example, and she was intensely involved in getting USA Today off the ground, she managed to piece together a support network of other people — “a village” to help out when she had to work long hours and travel for business. “I don’t have the answer about people who step out for a while. Companies are more supportive of that than before, but stepping back in is also hard.”
She urged women just starting out in their careers to “do everything and more. Come early. Stay late. It’s not only about the hours you put in; it’s about the attitude you bring to work.” Black also advised women to strive to make their bosses look good. Some bosses will want to be a mentor, while others will want as little contact as possible. “It’s not that you have to be in the boss’s office all the time showing how gosh darn smart you are. Tell the good news and tell the bad news. If you can fix the bad news quickly, that’s good because the boss doesn’t like big bad things. So fess up. Take the aggravation. Don’t blame it on anybody else. Just stand up and say, ‘I made a mistake.’”
She also noted that women too often nurse personal grudges in the workplace. “Women are brilliant at taking everything personally.” Black told the story of a colleague who was overwrought when she discovered she did not receive an e-mail invitation to a meeting. Black told her to show up anyway because it was possible the person who called the meeting simply made a mistake. “I said, ‘Don’t just pout.’ Men are much better about moving forward.”
Women need to be more forceful with their ideas, Black added, noting that when women enter a meeting, they tend to sit near the corners of the conference table — not the more visible positions in the middle or the end. Even if she presents a good idea, a woman seated in that part of the conference table might not be heard. “Then three minutes later, Joe, who is sitting in the middle, rephrases her idea and everybody says, ‘Joe, what a great idea.’ The woman has just seen her idea rewrapped and she’s sitting there steaming…. Assume you have been invited to the table,” Black urged her audience. “Don’t hide out in the corner.”

Poet Gabrielle Bouliane performs for the audience at the Austin Poetry Slam.
It was her last public performance. She passed January 29, 2010 shortly after being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.